Sometimes the desire to be the perfect mom, wife, friend, and ally gets so powerful that I forget that "perfect" doesn't mean perfect.
If I listen to my intuition, "perfect" means having integrity and self-reflecting. It means when I think I should have handled something differently (especially when it involves another person), I reach out and own it, and offer that apology.
If I think it's better not to acknowledge a mistake because it might make things worse, or it wasn't on someone's radar, but that someone takes the time to correct me, I don't knee-jerk and find ways to defend myself, regardless of how that correction was delivered. I take a deep look instead, and acknowledge anything I agree could have been handled differently (I'm sure my man will hold me to this one, lol.).
It means I don't get hung up on bumming about a mistake after I learn from it, and won't make that mistake again.
It means I forgive myself.
It means I love myself, and am proud of myself for doing my best to model what integrity really looks like for my sons... And not getting it right all the time is a major part of the success of it all. So sons, here's what's going on in your Mama's mind:
Never be afraid to mess up.
Never be embarrassed by mistakes.
Be a part of important conversations.
Have a growth mindset.
Tell your ego to pipe down.
Take a calm-down breath before disagreeing with someone, and remember that getting on a high horse is always going to feel icky, so don't do it... but if you forget yourself and hop on, get off as quickly as possible and call yourself out.
Ask questions and share resources rather than opinions, in response to someone's thoughts.
Always be kind. Kindness doesn't mean sugary sweetness. Kindness is honesty, delivered with respect.
Ok I think that about covers it. Now go eat your breakfast.